The Talk Show
by Sandtail
Summary: Welcome to the talk show with hosts Blackstar and firestar and Sandtail what could go wrong nothing right am i right?
1. Chapter 1

**Time for the newest talk show ever well for now at least I hope not to like exclude you guys or anything I just –**

**Sandtail: shut up! We don't own warriors if we did Shadowclan would get so muc more chapters.**

Light brown she-cat wearing sparkly pink tuxedo. "Um were have some problems with the hosts they started to… kill each other." She said. The dark forest audience gasped. The she-cat who has a name called Sandtail rolled her eyes. "Their okay. gullible dummies."

Tigerstar stood up "you call that a dis." "No but being killed nine times in row sounds like a dis" Sandtail replied. "Ohhhhhhhh" went the audience and Tigerstar sat his but back down.

Sandtail picked up the phone " so when will they get here that's not soon what? I have a baby sister since when? That's not even- no sir I care but oh you're a she-cat opps um wrong number bye." She rolled her eyes "our host will be here in ten minutes I need to get these stupid sparkles out of my fur."

Hawkfrost grabbed a cupcake from the food center "what can the dark forest do in ten minutes" he ate the pinky pinkty flavor cupcake.

10 minutes later.

Sandtail walked back on studio with no pink suit and she cursed a lot Hawkfrost's idea of passing time. They were roasting one of the hosts who actually is actually Firestar.

He yowled "THEIR GONNA EAT ME NOOO!" Sandtail grabbed a bat and started to whack the cupcakes out of Hawkfrost.

Sandtail panted beating toms was hard work she pranced over to Firestar " where's Blackstar". Firestar sighed "well."

_Flashback_

_Blackstar hissed "When we get outta here I'll personally murder you" the cast on his feet stopped him from stabbing Firestar with a spoon. "don't you have Dora to watch" Firestar smirked. "you little **** I'll ******* you little ****" he snarled Firestar rolled his eyes " what about the show potty mouth." But Blackstar left somewhere-_

Sandtail stopped him "wait he left" Firestar shrugged "that's what I said but he could of like went to washroom or something like that" Sandtail's eyes went red and she started to drool her claws extended her fur bristled plus she twitched "you L-lost Y-your co-star my H-host BLACKSTAR!" Firestar suddenly backed away "Um". Sandtail pounced and ripped Firestar to shreds and ate him spat him out they whack him with a knife.

Firestar walked out barley alive"That girl looks pretty but bites hard" then he fainted. Suddenly a motorcycle came through Sandtail stopped cleaning herself from Firestar's guts and screeched "OMSC its Blackstar sweet he's alive and sexy she purred the last part.

Blackstar looked Firestar over and snorted "karma" he muttered. He walked to his seat and started to file his claws.

Firestar magically came back to life and floated to his seat. Sandtail rolled her eyes "finally the hosts are here."

Sandtail cleared her throat "okay welcome to the talk show with no cool name otherwise called the talk show, our hosts Firestar and Blackstar and me your speaking person.

Blackstar didn't even pay attention but Firestar wrote down every word and whispered to his co-star "did you hear? I heard that Tigerstar sleeps with jellybean the purple rabbit"

Blackstar snickered "that would actually be a nice segment" he looked up "imagine this Overgrown tom big softie" Firestar whipped his head around.

Sandtail was holding a gun to his head "start the show _now_." She hissed. "Um but we don't have a guest star" Firestar muttered. "Well I have to go check on my little sister I didn't know existed.

Blackstar shrugged "you could always end the show now." Sandtail purred " we could do anything you want as long as you marry Russetfur."

"What?"

"Like you don't love her"

"What?"

"It's so obvious"

"What?"

"Oh silly Blackstar I have you whole honeymoon planned out"

Firestar snickered Blackstar fainted.

**WHEE I finished the first chapter first of all shout out to the one and only Flash6004.**

**Hosts: Blackstar-white tom black feet**

**Firestar-orange tom**

**Spoke person- Sandtail- brown she cat fuzzy tail.**

**Kits- Jadekit and Sunkit.**

**Chef: Mousebelly**

**Guest star : no one **


	2. guess who

**I do not own warriors or skittles because if I did lets just say instead of Thunderclan it would be guess who Shadowclan**

**P.S Blackstar rulz**

Sandtail sat in her dressing room hot tub it took a lot of money but it was sweet.

She sighed twenty minutes till the show started… it sucked like really badly. At least they finally had guest stars.

Just then her new make up artist Lillyface came how she hated her with a passion good thing she had a back up artist Flowerpelt. She was sweet as candy hmm she needed some candy now "I wonder if we have some skittles" she said out loud

Twenty minutes later

Blackstar smirked at Firestar today their guest star was Sandstorm time to talk about relationship problems. Firestar hissed "well guess who I invited?" Blackstar gasped "you didn't."

"I did"

"NO"

"Yes"

"NOO"

"YESSS"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Well I can't beat that Russetfur come out here" Firestar smiled finally revenge was sweet. Sandtail poked her head out "Russetfur?" she smiled really wild and thought

_I could plot with Firestar and make Russetfur and Blackstar date and maybe even get married yes._ Russetfur and Sandstorm walked up while wannabe by spice girls played.

Russetfur and Blackstar avoided eye contact and Firestar tried to explain to Sandstorm how he was so not cheating on her. "Come honey it's been more then three years I still love you" he cooed. "Yeah right" Sandstorm smacked his face and huffed.

Sandtail walked out in an uncomfortable red dress "ugh I hate this stupid dress after the show I'll burn this" she flexed her claws.

Sandtail sat at a seat with the hosts while Lillyface was plotting. Lillyface snarled "Blackstar should be mine"

Flowerpelt gasped "your not plotting are you that would be bad we're all friends." "Can it missy I know Sandtail loves that couple I have to get rid of her and Russetfur and _you_" she purred that last part.

"NO" Flowerpelt yelled as she was dragged away "HELP!"

After Lillyface got rid of her she plotted "Now Russetfur." She started to laugh "." She coughed.

Back to the show.

Sandstorm was about choke Firestar with hugs "I knew you love me" she purred. "Yes honey… now … please let go of… me" she let go before Firestar died.

Russetfur and Blackstar were forced on a date by Sandtail. Blackstar started to talk.

"So how's life?"

"Good great the weather?"

"Great it's Greenleaf"

"Nice um how's the beef"

"nice…"

One hour later

Firestar and Sandtail are watching the happy couple making out. Firestar whispered "should we stop them." Sandtail shushed him and ate her buttery popcorn.

Twenty minutes later.

Firestar shuffled his paws " well that's our show"

**The end of this chappie**

**Peace**

**Cats**

**Update**


	3. Mystery, Gasps , and Pay ups

**I do not own warriors or songs I do not own warriors got talent their flash6004 story because their great stories obviously and well I have nothing else to say because I'm just typing to type in bold.**

Sandtail faked purred "yes mom I'll visit my sisters again." She rolled her eyes and dropped her phone when would her mom realize that between Warriors got talent , the talk show and dating Viperstrike she could not babysit her annoying little sisters.

Firestar walked in "um Sandtail" Sandtail threw a shoe that almost knocked Firestar's head off. "What is it I'm in a crisis" Firestar rolled his eyes and replied "well remember Flowerpelt is missing." Firestar sighed "she left this note" he sniffed it. "it smells like blood and death and pain and…" Sandtail stared "and" he gave long sniff "it smells like someone I know" she rolled her eyes "you know a lot of cats."

Blackstar walked in "let me try" Firestar handed in the note and Blackstar sniffed it. Then his eyes went wide "OH MY STARCLAN!" he backed away "This can't be happing"

Sandtail gasped Firestar started at her "why are you gasping?" she shushed him.

"What's wrong dear have a heart attack." Came a voice. Blackstar fainted. Guess who walked out Lillyface. Sandtail gasped "Lillyface I knew it was you" Firestar snorted.

"What's wrong with you?" Firestar hissed. Lillyface purred "you see I have a plan to ruin your show and all relationships starting with BlackXRusset then ViperXSand and finally FireXSand"

"Well your wrong" mysterious voice. "Who's that now" Firestar asked dragging Blackstar's body somewhere. Jayfeather stepped out "you I was always there"

Sandtail gasped "stalker" Jayfeather corrected her "no I was… the guest star."

Blackstar woke up and checked the schedule "it's true he was" Lillyface laughed "it's too late I-

"Not so fast" came another mysterious voice. " come on" Lillyface whined " who else is going to do this."

Lionblaze, Dovewing, Littlecloud, Crowfeather, Leafpool, Onestar, and Mistystar all side stepped out of the closet. Sandtail well we all know what she did she gasped. Lionblaze snarled "you're under arrest for the kidnapping of Flowerpelt and destroying our secret love such as LittleXCinder LionXCinder OneXAsh CrowXleaf DoveXTiger and the rest.

**(warning to not read if you don't like violence rated T for reason)**

Lillyface hissed and reached into her bangs and pulled out a pink light saber. This time everybody gasped Sandtail looked up to the sky there was only one way to stop a Jedi master.

Sandtail looked at Jayfeather and nodded her head "use the force." Jayfeather pulled out an blue ultra light saber. "Ahhhhhhhhh" they both ran towards each other screeching. They met clashing with swords Lillyface floated up and attacked Jayfeather dodged and pierced the saber through her heart.

Lillyface fell down screeching in pain. "You'll…M-might have won… but I-I will get R-r-revenge. Then she died just kidding she went into an ambulance you didn't think I'd actually kill her off. Jayfeather nodded his head "it is done"

"sweet." Blackstar replied "but it's going to cost ya" Lionblaze replied. Blackstar hissed "why" Lionblaze rolled his eyes "because we missed the show today duh" Firestar laughed "right your not going to charge your own leader" Mistystar snorted " yeah right five hundred bucks each plus that light saber cost ten bucks.

Sandtail pouted "that's like 300 510 $ I don't have that kind of money. She turned to Flowerpelt. Flowerpelt sighed they were lucky she was carrying 510 bucks. Blackstar handed in one thousand Firestar handed out one thousand and Sandtail gave the rest.

Blackstar whimpered "it's not fair I was using that for my new chamber of doom" everybody stared. He shrugged "I was thought violence was the answer." Sandtail sobbed it's not fair now were broke they'll take my hot tub." Firestar snarled "you mean my hot tub" Sandtail continued and my ice cream fountain" Blackstar flexed his claws "my fountain."

Flowerpelt shrugged "maybe we could use the reviewers they could send in checks in their reviews.

A light bulb appeared over the heads Sandtail smiled "maybe they could send in dares or things for us to do" Firestar purred at the idea. "I'll write the forums." Blackstar sighed I guess I have to walk all the way to the post office and stamp it then mail it"

Sandtail then defied to break the fourth wall it was the only option they had " viewers my friends please send in checks in the format Firestar is printing. DING! Firestar finished typing and printing in like 5 seconds.

(Example)

Name: Sandtail

Dare: For example dance till your sick

Amount dare is completed: 20 bucks

Blackstar grabbed the forum and went of to post it.. Firestar gets on his knees "please help us or we'll go broke I don't want to go broke wahhhh"

**Sandtail: The end of this chappie please send in checks not real life one of course duh our goal is 500.000 dollars.**

**Firestar: but that's not was taken from u-**

**Blackstar: shhhs I want some money cha ching **

**Firestar: that's steeling **

**Black and Sand: GG**

**Firestar: I am not a G G you guys are Bad badies.**


	4. Dares Battles And Deaths

**I just start typing in bold because bold is awesome it so awesome and you can't have it Na Na Na **

****

Sandtail smirking at all the money plus her pay check it was all hers all hers nobody could steel it. Firestar rolled his eyes he was reading these dare things he grumbled under is breath he didn't trust Sandtail with all that money. Suddenly poof Hollyleaf appeared w-where am I?"

Hollyleaf growled when she saw Blackstar and gasped "don't worry Firestar I'll protect you" she pounced as Blackstar side stepped. She hit her head and didn't get up. Firestar groaned "next dare we'll get back to her later." Sandtail huffed "somebody's grumpy."

Firestar hissed "I didn't get my coffee because of the stupid last **** budget cut." Blackstar snorted "I didn't know you could curse." Firestar flexed his claws. "Well we could do flash6004 dares" Blackstar suggested. Sandtail read the dare " Sweet get Crowfeather's lovers for me" the three females popped up " your dare is to fight to the death." Leafpool rolled her eyes "why would we do that" she asked. Sandtail hissed " I didn't finish whoever wins gets Crowfeather"

The girls gasped and hissed at each other Crowfeather purred "hello ladies I'll be waiting for one of ya babes except for Nightcloud" Nightcloud growled. Blackstar walked up to them with a case " ya see this case" he said. The girls nodded their head.

"Well there's three weapons in here take one and leave me alone" he threw the case at them and went to go cat nap "tell me who wins" he called to Sandtail "sure" she replied.

In the case were an ultra light saber two fire daggers and a rubber chicken. Leafpool grabbed the daggers, Feathertail the saber and of course Nightcloud got the rubber chicken. Feathertail and Leafpool nodded at each other they ran towards Nightcloud and sliced her in half she screeched in pain and dropped the rubber chicken and fell to the ground dead.

Sandtail marked it down Nightcloud dead and looked at them "so whose getting Crowfeather." The she-cats remembered and screeched in fury Leafpool threw a dagger at Feathertail it hit her in the paw she dropped her light saber that melted through the ground. She whined how she wanted to win.

Leafpool came to end the job. But Feathertail was quick she found Blackstar's knife and threw it at Leafpool it also hit her paw. So now they were both bleeding to death. Crowfeather came to see his mates then gasped.

"Nooo! My beautiful mates" he took the dagger and took his own life. Leafpool and Feathertail both died but it was Feathertail first so Leafpool won.

Blackstar came back and snorted. "That was sappy." Sandtail rolled her eyes and Firestar was sobbing over his daughter. Flowerpelt came over and soothed him "don't worry she and Crowfeather alive in the books." Firestar stopped crying as she took the bodies away.

Sandtail perked up hey look "Hollyleaf is awake" Hollyleaf was crying "why do I have to break the warrior code I can't" Sandtail growled "you have to dummy."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"NOOO." Hollyleaf ran out the window and jumped out killing her self easily. Blackstar smirked and yelled out the window " by the way since leader's word is law killing yourself is against the warrior code.

You could hear the ghostly "_NOOOOOO!" _ Firestar rolled his eyes, Next out of the blue Ashfur appeared " what?" Firestar's eyes went red "You plotted with Hawkfrost to kill me!" Ashfur looked down "Um…" Firestar hissed "Squirrelflight attack!"

His daughter came with a machine gun " YOU!" she twitched " if it weren't for you Hollyleaf would never have told Brambleclaw! She shot him 5000,00000 times in 21 minutes. After she started to beat him with the gun too long so they had to end the show with Blackstar and Firestar fought and Sandtail rolled in money.

"Zee end for zee now hahahaha Flowerpelt finished speaking with a cough as she was zee narrator


	5. A Partridge in a pear tree

**I do not own Warriors Okay you should know that by now geez**

Sandtail panicked their special guest was really late. She rushed over to Flowerpelt who was brushing her fur with her flower brush. " Who is our guest anyway?" she asked. "Mr. Partridge. And where is that pear tree I ordered.

Flowerpelt smiled "Blackstar hid him" Sandtail's eyes widened "we need him for the twelve days of Christmas countdown.

Firestar walked out from under the curtain " Um Sandtail the crowd booing." Sandtail rushed past him to the audience " hey guys I know we haven't been on but the Good news is We're going to have a Christmas special. It's called the twelve days of Christmas and- Blackstar stop smacking Tigerheart right now!

Firestar cleared his throat "For this special we'll have special guest like Mr. partridge." He motioned to Blackstar to follow him under the curtains. Flowerpelt's head popped out "For now special Commercials."

(Commercial)

Tigerstar sneered under his breath suddenly a voice boomed "are you tired of all your plans failing" Tigerstar looked up "yes" The voice boomed more "well no more. With DF school you'll be hip, funky, plus evil." Tigerstar Shined "Finally How much dose this cost." "It's Free. Just sign this." Tigerstar signs it quickly. "Ha-ha I was joking about that free thing it's 100 000 000 000 00 dollars and tax.

"WHAAAAT!" he screeched.

(Behind the scenes)

Firestar tied Blackstar to a chair "Okay where is he." Blackstar pointed to the Box. Sandtail opened the blue box there was a little grey bird "Mr. Partridge!" She started at the creature for a few moments.

Firestar stared at her "what are you doing." Sandtail held the bird to her mouth. Five minutes later she burped "excuse me!" she giggled and hopped to her room.

Blackstar sneered "I knew this would happen but no it's bad to hide the stupid dead bird." He ripped off the tape huffed and went away.

Firestar sighed "I guess I have to end the show." He walked out " Guys I Know this Ep was bad but tomorrow we have the turtle doves hopefully there not birds."

"What happened to the Partridge" Brambleclaw called. Firestar bowed his head " Sadly he was eaten alive WAh!" The audience started to cry they wanted to meet the first guy so badly.

ZEE end


	6. Two turtle doves

**I do not own Warriors**

Sandtail walked out wearing her winter outfit and smiled "Today we're interviewing Mr. and Mrs. Turtle doves. And yes its true Mr. Partridge died." Everybody bowed their heads in shame poor birdie

Sandtail cleared her throat. "Welcome your hosts Blackstar, Firestar and The turtle doves." Blackstar and Firestar walk out with doves. Some cats stare hungrily at the birds.

.

As the host sit in their seats the doves eat seeds of the ground. Blackstar rolled his eyes "Why the first three verses about Birds not even that but number six and seven as well." Firestar chuckled. "Oh stop whining." He leaned in closer to Blackstar and whispered "I ordered a chef who cooks Doves like a boss."

Blackstar paw fived him "sweet." He grinned. Sandtail " okay for the first segment is interview challenge Where your hosts will ask 5 questions in 1 minute and you'll answer in 80 seconds." She blinked an eye at the secret chef in the back. "Firestar will do this."

"Are you turtles?"

"Do love each other?"

"Why are your heads so small?"

"What's with your color?"

The doves shook their heads no. Then nodded their heads. Then looked pissed. Finally they hissed in rage.

Sandtail smirked " Now for what if I did this segment. Blackstar will ask this."

Blackstar grinned showing his sharp fangs. "What would you do if we ordered a chef to cook you then we ate you." The birds looked confused then widened their eyes and ran in circles.

Flowerpelt snapped her fingers. "Now Mousebelly." Mouesebelly r the chef grabbed the doves and put in a sack and went of too the kitchen. The crowd booed. Blackstar snarled showed his claws then the crowd went silent.

Flowerpelt sighed " well that's the end of the show so goodbye like really leave we're hungry and we're going to eat."

ZEE END

**Sorry this had to be rushed it's a school night and I have to go to bed at 10:00 and its 9:20 and I need to watch wolf's rain warning if you don't like gore don't watch wolf's rain I'm warning you hiss getta outta here stop reading will you stop it…. Oh it's me typing making you read opps…**


	7. Three French hens Four bird

**I do not own Warriors.**

The setting was Mc buckets chicken restaurant. Sandtail was staring at the 3 chicken blinking their eyes at the chicken drumstick. Blackstar snarled at them for fun. They fainted then woke up five minutes later.

Firestar rolled his eyes at the menu "Hey stupid waiter, waiter!" He yelled. The penguin waddled over. "May I take zee order?" He spoke with a French accent.

Sandtail looked at her purple menu then looked at Blackstar. "Do you think it was a good idea to bring three French hens to a chicken restaurant? Blackstar sneered at the chicken who shuddered in fright "squawk, Cluck." He chuckled " Non , Je fais les manger."

Firestar blinked "You're French." Blackstar grinned." Qui partly. Plus We have the three French hens." Sandtail rolled her eyes " okay toms we have to question the dam hens and the calling birds. She looked over to where the four calling birds.

She gasped "OMG! THE FOUR CALLING BIRDS ARE GONE!" she screamed "Viperstrike comfort me wahhhh."

The penguin snickered from under the table and looked at his spy phone "Lillyface I have the calling birds now what?" Lillyface sneered from the phone "Next kidnap Sandstorm and Russetfur then destroy the Special." She disappeared from the phone. The penguin slipped away from under the table to his jet.

Firestar snarled at Blackstar "You ate them didn't you." Blackstar hissed "NON!" Firestar growled and flexed his claws. He attacked Blackstar and they rolled off the set.

Sandtail stared at her pics of Viperstrike silently sobbing about the birds then perked her ears "Hey I just remembered "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS." She smiled to herself.

"What's the worst that could happen?" she giggled and went to go torture some poor unexpected animal.

Flowerpelt sighed and cleared her throat.

_On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me_

_Four calling birds_

_Three French hens_

_Two turtle doves_

_And a partridge in a pear tree!_

**Sorry I'm was to lazy to type even though tonight I'm going to bed at 1 am what can I do in that amount of time hmm…**


	8. FIVE GOLDEN RINGS and mushy letters

**I do not own Warriors.**

Blackstar snarled in outrage at Firestar" How can you steal my beautiful russet Apple." Firestar looked shocked. "Me steal Russetfur why you steal Sandy." Flowerpelt raised a brow. "Apples, Sandy." The toms shuffled their paws and blushed.

Sandtail walked out of her dressing room tired. "Did you guys hear the racket last night. Plus our Christmas tree is missing plus we got five silver rings instead of gold ones."

After the toms explained their "Problems" and Sandtail's eyes widened "This could only be the work of The killer penguin and Lillyface."

Mousebelly the chef poked his head out of the kitchen. "Zee killer penguin. NON! Zis shall dezstroy us all." He packed his bags moved out. Flowerpelt muttered under her breath.

Flowerpelt handed the Cast each a proper Gold ring instead of silver know out ones. Sandtail sighed this was not a good day. Maybe she could go shopping for presents later have some nice cocoa. She licked her lips hungrily she never got her order at that stupid restaurant.

The killer penguin laughed from behind the stage the countdown would be ruined and Lillyface would be pleased. Suddenly he slipped on some ice that Mousebelly left before he left.

"Whoa!" he skidded right in front of Blackstar's dressing room. He got up and peeked inside maybe he could use something he gasped in shock. This was so less deadly then he expected. "OMG." On the table was a picture of Russetfur a rose and a 2 notes. Of course he decided to pick it up and read it.

The first one was Blackstar and then the second was Russetfur.

_Dear Russetfur, _

_Last night's date was awesome lets go on another one tonight at maybe 6:00 at that fancy restaurant. I also got you that Pink rose you wanted it's my desk._

_P.S I LOVE YOU!_

_Love Blacky your sweet cloud to my precious russet apple._

The penguin almost barfed from disgust that was mushy he was scared to read Russetfur but who cares? Let read it anyways.

_Dear Blackstar (Blacky)_

_I'm with you sexy tom I'd love another date oh and have been reading your emails it seems like the whole clan wants us together even thought we already are honey. Thanks for that beautiful rose. I sent you a white rose because I LOVE YOU! XOXOXO_

_P.S I LOVE YOU MORE!_

_Love your Apple my sweet Cloud._

That did it the penguin threw up " Blech! Starclan help me now it's so mushy." He ran out with vomit still on his mouth.

Sandtail was struggling with five golden rings on her paws " I Can't end the show my darn paws are stuck with these Stupid f******g rings." The crowed gasped.

" Sandtail cursed"

"OHHH."

"She's Mad"

" What are we doing here lets get out before we're killed. The clans Ran out of the room before they were killed. Firestar rolled his eyes "That's Our show." He wore a Santa hat "HO HO and to all a good night."

Blackstar walked into his dressing room "WHO THE H*** CAME IN HERE I"LL KILL THAT BASTARD!

Flowerpelt sighed "And we're out."

**Sorry wasn't really funny because I was rushing**


	9. 6 Geese a dead because they are bad

**I do not own Warriors.**

The stress continues for our lovely casts. Blackstar was sobbing over his lost date. Firestar was swearing at a mouse and Sandtail was being Sandtail. " Dinner's ready!" Mousebelly called from the kitchen.

Mousebelly had cooked their guests after they refused to 'cooperate'.

Flashback

The 6 geese decided that they weren't going to do the 6 geese a laying thing and decided to crap everywhere. "Ew There's geese craps everywhere do something." Sandtail whined in horror. "Why did it have to be birds all the time in this stupid song?" Flowerpelt Snarled at geese that tried to crap on her blue dress.

The white goose hissed in return. Blackstar was in his emo corner sobbing over his date. Firestar was loading his gun with bullets. "Blackstar get your gun quick it's hunting season."

"But what if they have a date like I did. "I WANT MY APPLE!" he took two guns and shot each goose like boss. "TAKE THAT SHE-STEALERS." The cast took a step back from crazy killing psycho.

END OF FLASHBACK

Mousebelly laid each goose down on a plate. Blackstar snarled at his goose and attacked. Flowerpelt leaned beside Sandtail. "Um he does know that the feather we found was from a penguin not a goose."

Sandtail shrugged her shoulders and quietly ate her goose. Mousebelly looked at the two females. " Is it true you guys cancelled the show." Sandtail sighed then rolled her eyes. " The show is not cancelled we just can't have two Psycho host with chainsaws plus our guest stars keep dying."

Mousebelly chuckled. "Blame the song. How dose that song go again." He asked.

Flowerpelt cleared her throat while Sandtail plugged her ears. Flowerpelt took a deep breath and with her high pitch voice started to sing.

_On the twelve day of Christmas my true love gave to me_

_Twelve drummers drumming_

_Eleven pipers piping_

_Ten lords a leaping_

_Nine ladies dancing _

_Eight maids a milking_

_Seven swans a swimming_

_Six geese a laying_

_Five golden rings_

_Four calling birds_

_Three French hens_

_Two turtle doves_

_And a Paaaaaaaaaaatttttridge in a PEAR TREE!_

Blackstar blinked his eyes "I think I need to get my ears checked." He walked out the door at the rest of the cast followed after him.

Flowerpelt Pouted. " My singings not that bad listen _FALA-_" lets finish that before we all die.


	10. Nine ladies dancing ten lord a leaping!

**I do not own Warriors. I do not own Hollaback girl**

Loud music filled the studio. The cast is wearing earmuffs. Sandtail looks at Flowerpelt "Did you know the nine dancing ladies were pop." Flowerpelt tilted her head " WHAT!." She yelled.

"I SAID THE NINE DANCING LADIES ARE POP!" she screamed.

"WHAT!" She screamed back. "THE NINE DANCING- oh never mind." Flowerpelt grinned a toothy smile. "THE NINE DANCING LADIES ARE POP YA KNOW!" Sandtail hissed " I KNOW!"

Blackstar snarled at them. " STOP YELLING AND TELL THESE LADIES TO SHUT UP!" Firestar tilted his head at Blackstar. " YOUR YELLING TOO!" Blackstar cuffed Firestar on the ear.

Mousebelly poked his head out of the kitchen window. "HEY COME OVER TO THE KITCHEN ITS SOUND PROOF!" The cats ran to the quiet spot before the ear drums exploded.

Once in the kitchen the removed their ear muffs. Flowerpelt sighed dramatically. Blackstar raised a narrowed his eyes at her. "What's with you?"

Flowerpelt sighed again. Firestar rolled his eyes. "Because of out time delay we have to fit the nine ladies and ten lords a leaping together same with eleven and twelve. Plus it hasn't snowed in our part of Canada." He sniffled. "I want snow."

Blackstar chuckled. "It's going to snow just wait. He looked out the kitchen door "so whose going to interview the nine and ten.

Sandtail shrugged "we could go in team since theirs so many of each." She pointed at the toms "You guys can go interview the 10 since their guys." Then she pointed to her and Flowerpelt. "And we can to the nine ladies dancing."

Firestar sniffed the air "Dose anyone smell penguin." Blackstar's ears perked up " I smell it too." He growled. "It's the same smell that was in my dressing room." He flexed his claws. "When I find that rat I'll break his neck and-"

Firestar grinned. "What did it even touch?" Blackstar blushed. "Um… it's not… your business." He finally said.

Sandtail looked at him strangely than gasped "OMSC it touched your love letter." Blackstar widened his eyes " How do you know-" Firestar burst out laughing " Love letters seriously I can't wait to text this ha!"

Blackstar released his claws and bared his teeth Firestar's face. Firestar nervously laughed. "I was only joking blacky relax. Eheh." Blackstar huffed and walked over to the 10 leaping lords.

Flowerpelt giggled and followed Sandtail to the nine dancers. They sat down in different colored chairs and the music finally stopped. Sandtail took out her clip board. "So what are your names.

The ladies cleared their throats "Rose, Violet, Daisy, Lilly, Poppy, Dandy lion, daffodil Tulip and Flower. They giggled got up and started dancing.

Flowerpelt hissed "WILL YOU SIT THE **** DOWN!" the girls gasped. "You said a bad word you could go to jail for that. Flowerpelt rolled her eyes "Yeah like in 1931"

Rose bit her lip nervously "so you mean we can be bad and not get in trouble." Sandtail rolled her eyes "Duh!" Poppy grinned then she stuck her middle finger out. Lilly yelled "GIRLS ITS TIME TO BE BAD!"

Hollaback girl started to play. The she-cats widened their eyes as the girls started to dance. Sandtail stood up " Hey we swear once in while but where not dirty." Flower threw a pillow at her. " I ain't no Hollaback girl." She sang while dancing.

Flowerpelt sighed " I guess we can do nothing but watch they'll tire out soon enough.." she sipped her coffee and curls up in her chair.

Violet started to sing "This **** is bananas." The other girls stared to sing. "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

The toms wore blue uniforms sat beside the ten lords a leaping. Blackstar rolled his eyes " I hate this uniform. Anyways first up names." The lords gasped in shock ignoring the question.

"Thy are leaders are thy not." They asked. Firestar sighed " If you haven't noticed we're cats not twolegs. We don't we're these clothes. And Blackstar's right we need you names. NOW!" he snarled.

The lords looked offended. "Thy shall get nothing of out finest fiber." They echoed. Blackstar rolled his eyes " What fiber do you even know why your hear?" he asked.

One of the lords let out a battle cry but didn't charge "Thy didn't knowith who stealith thy princess."

Firestar widened his eyes "Our princess?" they nodded their heads " Thy princess are tied with lady Lillyface and her evil Stewart Killer the blackith and whitish bird."

Blackstar snarled "Lillyface I knew she would never stop." He calmed his face " But it adds a lot more drama to the show so we can go on a rescue mission."

The lords let out a battle cry and gave 890 feet leap out the wall to sea of victory to settle the battles with Lady Lillyface.

Firestar grinned. "They know you meant not now right?" Blackstar walked over to where the she-cats and froze. Firestar walked up behind Blackstar and Froze too.

The nine ladies dancing were listening to Fergie in bikinis. Blackstar rushed up the stairs with Firestar repeating the same thing " I saw nothing I have a Girlfriend I will not have an affair."

Sandtail and Flowerpelt dialed 911 and got rid off the girls who got sent to jail for 5 years. ZEE end so fa


	11. Happy new year and Pokemon battles?

**I do not own Warriors or pokemon**

"HAPPY NEW YEAR! And welcome to the talk show." Sandtail welcomed the audience as usual bored out her mind. She gave a heavy sigh. "I bring sad news our hosts have recently one missing."

She perked her ears up. "So I'll be taking over!" several groans came from the audience. Sandtail rolled her eyes. "Geez I'm kidding I- OH MY STARCLAN A FLYING PENGUIN!"

Indeed in the air a purple flying penguin was doing summersaults. Sandtail cleared her throat.

"Anyways your hosts Blackstar and Firestar!" She ran off to catch the purple flying penguin.

The hosts walked up to their new black sofa they got for only 400 dollars.

Blackstar's fur was in a mess and his amber eyes were all tired. While Firestar yawned tiredly. "hi… guys a-and happy …happy new year." SMACK! He fell off his chair Asleep.

Blackstar sipped some off his cat minted coffee and yawned. " We stayed up all lat night just to get the new year. So I don't *yawn* we can have the sh… zzzz

Several boos came from the audience. "WE WANT A SHOW WE WANT A SHOW!"

Luckily Sandtail came back with her new flying purple penguin named Skippy. " Hey guys I got a new pet his names Skippy want to meet him he's so cute he can fly you no blah." It took her a full twenty minutes to shut up.

Sandtail tipped her head to the side in confusion. " What about their coffee that's suppose to keep them awake" she took a closer look at the coffee and gasped. "FLOWERPELT! MOUSEBELLY!

The two cats sulked over to Sandtail. Flowerpelt yawned in boredom. "That isn't cat minted coffee its Poppy seed coffee." She said clearly not really caring.

Sandtail snarled at Mousebelly. "You idiot!" Mousebelly chuckled nervously. "Poppy cat mint ha-ha what's the difference?" Sandtail sneered. "I'll show you the difference."

Flowerpelt groaned annoyed. "How many times did we cancel the show plus the season finale is _Tomorrow_. Next season we better get more serious."

While the three were bickering. Firestar groaned and woke up. "What the? Holy New Year a live audience."

He hit Blackstar in the head with his remote. Blackstar growled and almost killed Firestar. " You idiot I'm sleeping." He growled as he turned over on the floor.

Firestar snorted. "Yeah in front of a live studio." Blackstar groaned and muttered to himself." Tomorrow's the last day then your free."

Blackstar dusted himself off and sat in his chair. " Welcome to this crappy show." Firestar rolled his eyes. " Today we're interviewing the one and only Tawnypelt."

Blackstar snorted. "Yippee."

Co Pilate plays as Tawnypelt walks out. "HEY GUYS!" she giggled and walked over to the random pink chair.

Blackstar leaned in beside Firestar. "I'm not paying for that." Firestar cleared his throat. "So Tawnypelt how's life?"

Tawnypelt gave a cheerleader giggle. " Well Everything just fine and dandy I have a mate three kids a nice clan great brother oh and I'm working up to be deputy."

Blackstar perked up his ears. "Deputy?" Tawnypelt looked at him confused. "I never said deputy Blackstar you must have heard wrong."

Blackstar growled. "Liar!" he pulled out a random poke ball. "Growlithe come on out!" Tawnypelt gasped. "Oh yeah Snivy come on out." She to had poke ball.

Firestar groaned. "Just what we need a Pokémon battle" he hid behind the table. Blackstar snarled. "Growlithe use flamethrower." Tawnypelt just laughed. " You think you can beat me Snivy dodge it and use vine whip."

Blackstar's Growlithe attacked as told and before Snivy could dodge it wham! Critical hit. Snivy struggled to get up and used vine whip. Growlithe dodged it and used ember. Snivy fell down unconscious.

Tawnypelt wailed. "NO! SNIVY BUT HOW!" Firestar rose from the very badly burnt table with his now one good eye. "First of all Ow! Second fire beats grass."

Tawnypelt wailed even harder. Blackstar rolled his eyes. " I'll be in my dressing room." Firestar suddenly remembered something. " Blackie we forgot about our mates."

Blackstar got on his knees. "NO! Hey is that a purple penguin."

**Is the cast still fighting?**

**Will they find their mates?**

**What's with the Pokémon?**

**Is tomorrow really the season final? Find Out Next time On the Talk show without a cool name (TTSWACN)**


	12. Season Finale

**Hey guys I'm back and I'm not letting lawlclan bring me down especially venci whatever the talk show is back and its season finale yippe!**

( we are who we are by ke$ha plays.)

A proud groomed she-cat with stripes on her very fluffy tail walk on to the stage smiling happily. " hey guys we are back and better then ever this is are last episode though." she frowned thinking about what she just said.

She rolled her eyes annoyed at herself then brightened up. " This we'll our longest episode ever we're going on a quest to find Russetfur and Sandstorm." now since we're not filming here you'll be our army coming with us."

"Wait." Hawkfrost growled. " Why should we help you?" Sandtail rolled her eyes for the second time then snarled. " Because it was your idea to be part of the audience. Because your small and stupid. Because I'll kill you if we don't."

Hawkfrost eyes widened. " I-I was only kidding." He whimpered and sat back down. Blackstar and Firestar walk all awesome like just kidding they were sobbing about their beloved apple and sandy.

Flowerpelt scrunched her face in disgust. "Suck it up guys we had like two months to ourselves and your still sobbing." She grabbed a baseball bat and whacked them on the head.

Sandtail ears perked up. "That reminds me I need to give Skippy a walk." She at Blackstar snapping at the penguin. She gasped in shock. "No blacky that's my pet bird close your mouth right no! Stop it NO!"

She ran over to Blackstar who was grinning happily. "How could you Skippy was more then a pet he was-

"Dinner." Firestar smirked. Sandtail growled. "want to die." Firestar just sighed. "I'll go get our horses." Mousebelly poked his head out of the kitchen. " When zid we getz zee horzes." Flowerpelt snarled. " STOP THAT FAKE ACCENT IT"S ANNOYING!" She screamed and took out her flamethrower.

Firestar shook his head and leaned over to Blackstar. " Remember when she was hired?" Blackstar nodded his head. " Yeah she was so sweet brought me muffins and tea every morning but spend a month with us and poof that happens." The two toms watched as Flowerpelt tried to kill Mousebelly.

Blackstar shook his white pelt and sighed. " I'll go get the horses for the army." Firestar chuckled. " Yeah I'll follow you and watch them kill you."

Blackstar snarled showing his pearly whites. " You. Will. Die." With that he pounced on the cackling tom.

Sandtail paw faced her self. "I'll order the horses for Starclan's sake do I have to do everything here?"

" we can help wou sissy." She looked down to see Jadekit and Sunkit her brother and sister looking at her with their big green eyes. You see they were twins identical except for gender both had brown fun with tabby stripes all over except Sunkit. He has one white paw.

Sandtail growled. "Shi-" BEEP! Jadekit yelled. Sandtail cocked her. "What?" Jadekit giggled. "Silly sissy you almost said a bad word!" Sandtail growled. " I mean what the- BEEP are you doing here brats."

Sunkit grinned but Sandtail swore she saw an evil glint in his eye. "Mother says ya gotta watch us." Sandtail smirked. " And if I don't." Jadekit sneered. " We'll tell mom you hit us." Sandtail began to walk away. The two sit looked at her for a minute or two then started whimpering.

" MOMMY MOMMY SISSY HIT US AND WE DIDN"T DO ANYTHNG!" their sobbing looked amazingly real.

The pair of fighting cats walked over. Flowerpelt cooed at the kits. " your so cute!" Sandtail snorted. Blackstar glared at her. " Even I wouldn't hurt kits you kit spanker." Firestar growled. "Yeah I mean for Starclan's sake their only kits!"

Sandtail gasped. " B-but I there're faking I know you are right kits." The twins on cried harder. Sandtail hissed. Okay but someone needs to watch them while we go of to war.

Mousebelly smiled. " I'll watch after all their only kits right?" as he led the kits away Jadekit looked backed at Sandtail and grinned. Sandtail shook her head sadly. " He'll regret those words."

Flowerpelt looked at her clipboard that popped out of nowhere and gasped. " Oh Foxes. We have a guest star before we go off too war." " who?" Blackstar asked then started drinking a glass of water.

" Stonefur."

Blackstar spat all his water on a nearby cat… Firestar of course. Firestar wiped the water of his face. " What the hell man!" Blackstar snarled. " What do you mean what the hell I killed that guy."

Firestar smiled slyly. "I know." Blackstar eyes widened then he realized what Firestar did. "Why you s*** come here so I can rip your insides out." Sandtail and Flowerpelt had to hold the Shadowclan leader back from another possible murder.

45 minutes later.

Sandtail purred at the audience. " Welcome the lovable huggable Stonefur!." Then she walked the stage muttering about exterminating two kits.

As Stonefur magically floated down to the stage Blackstar shuffled his paw nervously. Firestar rolled his eyes annoyed. " Dude you killed him like some years ago he's gotten over it."

Stonefur smiled happily at Blackstar. " Hi Blackstar." He reached out to shake his paw. Blackstar quickly pulled back. " I'M SORRY GET OVER IT AHHH!" He screamed as he ran out of the room but guess what someone opened the door making Blackstar hit the door.

Stonefur cocked his head what. " I feel this strange feeling were about to go to season two and forget all about me." He saw a bright light. "Ok peace out everybody." He walked of a cliff and survived like a boss.

Blackstar lifted his head up to curse the cat knocked him out then smiled. " APPLES!" he ran up to apples aka Russetfur and purred.

Firestar grinned happily. "SANDY!" he almost knocked the she-cat over. Russetfur coked her head. " you guys are acting like we got catnapped or something."

Flowerpelt grinned from behind the curtains. Her plan had worked take the girls to new York for a awhile. Get the boys to believe they were catnapped and trick Lillyface in to believing she captured them. All adding up to a perfect talk show plot she purred to herself.

She pricked her ears up and put her nose in the air. " Roasted Mousebelly no I must be imagining things he's with the kits."

" SAVE ME FROM THESE MONSTERS AHHH NO DON"T DO THAT STOP!" a loud screech echoed the studio.

Blackstar purred nuzzling Russetfur. " isnt's it beautiful it a rhino giving birth." She licked him on the nosie. " The wonders of life.

Sandstrom purred. Oh Firestar your so romantic it's a wolf giving birth." Firestar sighed happily.

Next day

Blackstar walks in sadly carrying a note with him he places inside Sandtail's office. Then he jumped out the window like a boss.

Next day

Firestar skipped into Sandtail's office happily. " That was the best season finale ever!" he picked up a note. " Ohh it's has the blood of other cats it must be from Blackstar."

Meanwhile

Sandtail was celebrating march break. " Party rock is in the house tonight every-

"BLACKSTAR QUIT THE SHOW!" Firestar screehed.


End file.
